Today, our song came on and I just completly broke down right there. It’s been almost two years since we broke up. But everyday, I still think about you and it sucks. We’ve both moved. But you were my first love and it’s so hard to just stop loving your first love completely. It’s so hard to completely move on and get over your first love. We went through hell and back. And the fact that this picture will be five years old on May 12th is completely mind blowing. Some days, I miss us. You know me better than anyone in this world. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like today if I never left you. I thought I’d never do it, honestly. I thought I’d marry you and start a family with you. Not only did I break my promise to you, I broke my own promise. I promise I’d always be with you and never hurt you. And it kills me to know I hurt you so badly. But don’t get me wrong, I’m happy with Rohen and I love him so much. And I’m so happy that you’re happy with Canada. But put of me will always miss us. And will always want us back together. But everything happens for a reason. And we don’t know what the future holds. I know you’ll never read this. But I needed to let all this out somehow. And I want you to know. I loved you with all ny heart and you were an amazing boyfriend and you made me so happy. I fell in love with you a little over five years ago when I first met you. And my life is so weird without you. I spent almost four with thesame guy. Going to your house every weekend to hang out than it slowly happened to where we saw each oyger almost every day. Spending hours on the phone till we fell asleep. Waiting in your driveway for my mom and you would kiss me a millions times goodbye and squeeze me so tight in your arms. You’d always play on your guitar and sing. And you’d sing “I’m yours” to me. And my heart would just melt. Ugh it was perfect. I can’t even go to the mall without thinking about us. It was so weird when it all just stopped. I remember getting butterflies going down the street you live on. I was so head over heels. You made everything seem like a dream. And we just fought so much towards the end of our relationship, and I would stay up nights crying, knowing that we were falling apart and drifting apart. I’ve never stopped loving you. I never will. It figures another one of our songs would come on pandora while I’m typeing this. Blake, you have special place in my heart. You always have and you always will. And I hope you’re happy and I hope all your dreams become true. You deserve it. I’m done typing now.
"If one day the speed kills me, do not cry because I was smiling" - Paul Walker.
Paul Walker was a beautiful human being.